If the Christmas frenzy in the (mostly Western) world is driving you nuts this is a good read for pre-adults and caretakers alike: Politically Correct Holiday Stories by James Finn Garner. I read it today, hilarious.

It has inoffensive, noncontroversial stories such as Rudolph the Nasally Empowered Reindeer, about Rudolph the angry young reindeer who became a union leader, stood up to the "overfed guy in the red suit" and demanded "a guarantee of no work on holidays" and "grilled him on such issues such as health care, paternity leave, profit sharing, and joint decision-making councils." In this book the children (pardon me, that should pre-adults) dream of "lentils and warm whole-grain breads", for what is a cup of eggnog "less than a poke in the eye to the dedicated vegans amongst us".

My favourite story is of the siblings who made a persun of snow who got the unisex name Frosty. When Frosty started to melt away because of the depletion of the ozone layer the siblings and all the families and alternative households in the vicinity decided to march on Washington. They got the attention of the media and actions were taken by the Government to reduce the emissions that were eating away the ozone layer.

All in all a bloody good laugh. Yes, I said bloody, deem me to an hour's work in community service. I also laugh at pervy, sexist jokes. And I generally find black men more attractive than asian men. So sue me.

If you need an idea for my Christmas gift next year the guy has also written Politically Correct Bedtime Stories and Once Upon a More Enlightened Time. Would love to read them too.